i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
