Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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