Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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