i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
