YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
