Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
