Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
