i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
