I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize