U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
