Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize