One girl and one boy is just not enough.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
