it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
