i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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