Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
either way he was missing a nipple.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
And then he peed in my hair
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