The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
