does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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