i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
