Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
