Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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