It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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