after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize