marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
