at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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