just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
