i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
