Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
