Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
