Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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