the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she pinky promised me she was 18
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Randomize
