i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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