JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
