so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
