when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
