you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
