you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
