just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
