Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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