K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Me too!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
