My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize