Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize