Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
