im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
they're like a gay fantastic four
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
