Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
