i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
