U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
