when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
