You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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