We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
