My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
