would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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