is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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