that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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