Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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