I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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