How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
you never un-have a 4some
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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