She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
