im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
